Have you ever felt focused and just knew you were going in the right direction, only to get blown completely off course? You are not alone. I believe there are souls that love so many things we easily get distracted and led another way. Sometimes we find ourselves back on the path we started on and sometimes we find ourselves on the other side of our soul map.
When I was a little girl I loved animals so much I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian. When I realized that I would see puppies die on my table, I quickly changed my mind. It was a good thing I was not in vet school to figure that one out. I am much to empathetic for that. I cannot seperate my feelings easily and I become whole-heartedly invested in what I am doing. I cry at commercials, okay.
As I got older I was drawn to plants and herbs but I was quickly told how silly homeopathy was by the people in my life. Wanting to make them proud I once again changed my course again. I was so lost and had no direction. For some reason I thought cosmetology would be a good fit so at 18 I went to, what they called in the 80’s, Hair School. I did not last long because I was dating an abusive, possessive a-hole of a boy. I put him before school and lost my place.
Once again I floated around looking for answers. My mom would speak of nursing and so did my dad because his mother was a head nurse. She even taught nursning for a while. His eyes would light up as he spoke of me going to nursing school. I tried it and I was just not fully invested. I could not wrapy my heart around being a nurse, I wanted to be the doctor. Being married to an abusive man at the time there was not way medical school was in my future. So, once again I just decided to be a mom and wife.
I would lie in the field and watch the moon and stars and dream of what I should be. Who was I, what did I want out of life. I was only 22. I was a baby with babies.
I once again became attracted to herbs and holistic remedies. I was called a witch, hippie, and a dreamer. My abusive ex would shoot down my dreams. I was drawn to health and fitness for sure, but just dreamed about it silently.
After escaping my abusive marriage I was free to dream again and try to make a go of something. I tried cosemtology once more and as much as I loved the creativity of it, something was missing. I would work on hair and inside I was screaming how I hated it. I was afraid to admit that I hated it. I did not want to disappoint everyone. I just knew they woudl be so ashamed of me. Before I knew it I was finding reasons not to go to cosmetology school any longer. Any difficult situation I ran into was an excuse to get out. I did not love it. I ran as fast as I could. I was ashamed. I did customer service work for a while.
After being remarried and having 3 more children I was battling weight and I decided to become a personal trainer. I did love it! I almost self-sabotgaed once again though, but this time something different happened. I had a support system. My husband talked me through it and helped me with my self-destruction and loved me all the way to my Associate’s Degree. Then I passed my NSCA exam, which was one of the hardest exams I have ever taken. After the exam, my van got stuck in 2nd gear, but I screamed happily all the way home with tears in my eyes on Interstate 77. I almost blew my van up but nothing was going to ruin the fact that I was a certified NSCA personal trainer. Lisa G, NSCA-CPT.
I did lose weight as a trainer but when I experienced loss in my family I quickly gained the weight back. I beat myself up all over again. But I also realized that being overweight was not about loving to eat that yummy food. It was spiritual for me. I was spiritually starving and trying to feed my soul with food. I could not get full no matter how much I ate, so I ate more. You see where this is going.
I decided to go to SWIHA and I obtained a diploma in Mind Body Wellness Transformation. I now have certifications in transpersonal hypnotherapy, holistic nutrition, and life coaching. I grew so much. My spiritual wings were starting to show. It taught me to dream out loud no matter what anyone thought.
So here I sit tonight after dreaming even more. I have decided to take it a step further and become a Naturopathic Doctor. Why can’t I? It does not have to happen overnight. I will take my time and do it in small steps. I want to make sure I do not overwhelm myself. I am going to go ahead and start training people again using my holistic techniques. It will offer a combination of strength training, hypnotherapy, and life coaching. While I do so I will work with another naturopath to start my new path. I have thought about becoming an ND before but felt I was not smart enough or driven, but I believe my heart keeps brining me back to natural healing for a reason.
I want my family to dream with me and make all of their dreams come true. I think I always worry I will make them pay the price for my passion, but there is not reason we cannot all make our dreams come true. I love them for supporting me.