I was on the phone with my Dad this morning and it made me aware of why parents make the choices that they do. I am not sure I have ever heard my dad cry, but I did today. His wife, my stepmother is in the hospital with 4 blocked arteries and will have surgery on Monday. I found myself comforting the very man that I felt had left me for such a long time. The void I had in my heart always left me feeling like an unwanted child. I carried that void with me throughout life feeling as if I was undeserving of love and commitment. I ask my husband every day if he loves me and plans to grow old with me. I believe I was trying to get reassurance from him based on the void my parents created. I decided that I should not question my husbands love, but rather find out why my parents were the way they are. It is NOT about me, and never was. Continue reading
Most people would just think I am a decoration to fill the space in the window by her desk. But I am so much more than that, and I even have a name. She calls me George; not sure why, but that is my name. I remember when she first saw me in the store garden and touched my leaves so gently telling her family I was the one she wanted to take home. I would hang in the gardens and watch other plants being picked as I longed to be part of a family.
I finally found the place I call home by her desk in the window. I have been here for a while and even watched the seasons change more than a few times. Right now the leaves are changing colors and they display such beauty that I have never experienced. She tells me that I will always be green and full of life as she blows across my leaves as a way of saying thank you for the oxygen I provide to her family. She talks to me as if she knows I can hear her, and I can. Every day I look forward to the warmth and light from the sun coming through the window, and on some days she opens the window so I can feel the breeze over my leaves. She even loves me so much that she shares her clean water with me.
I do notice she is at her desk many hours at a time. She looks tired at times and I want to tell her to go and take a much needed break from school and work, even though I love her company. I just want her to take care of herself as she has taken care of me and loved me. Thanks to her, I am the happiest plant alive.
What does it mean to be perfect? Can anyone really define it? Not everyone finds beauty in the same things. So who is to say there is a perfect woman or man. We all think differently, so does anyone act perfect. The conclusion I am coming to is, perfect is what I accept it to be. No one defines what perfection means to me. To me, I have the perfect husband, the perfect children, and my chosen path is perfect. It is perfect for me!
For a long time, my husband laughs that I am black or I am white, never grey. I was told by a therapist once to find my happy medium. I admit, it needs to be this way or that way and I have a hard time finding balance. But today I realized something for the first time ever. I ate peanut m&ms on my cleanse and I was not mad at myself, nor did I feel guilty…and that to me is PERFECT. It felt so good to be okay with the fact that I did not do everything exactly as outlined. I stepped out of the lines, but I got right back on. Art is not perfect lines, it is someones creative masterpiece and all of the details that only they can add.
I cannot tell you how many times I have started an exercise plan, or a diet, only to screw it up, beat myself up and stop all together. I could tell you lots of reasons I would make a great personal trainer, but then just that ONE reason why I should not would stop me in my tracks. I am a great trainer, and I am a great mom, and a wife. I thought for so long I had to be perfect…someones else’s definition of perfect. But now, I am my definition of perfect. I am okay with eating sugar here and there, skipping a day of exercise because I would rather read a good book, not being a size 2, or 6 even. Yes, I desire to stop eating sugar and to be a size 6, but do I allow myself to think I am a failure because I am not…NO.
I just know I feel I have changed something with my subconscious about my outlook on food and life. I think I have made it all too hard, or unrealistic in the past. Now I keep it simple and try not to stress out about it. Stress can be as bad as eating unhealthy. It wreaks havoc on your body. So calm down and enjoy your life.
Today I was looking at my son, and I just thought of how beautiful he is. The features of his face, the sweetness of his voice and how much I cherish what my love with his dad created. Life is so beautiful and as simple as just sitting in silence admiring your children. When they sleep sometimes I kiss their cheek what feels like a million times, because I know they are growing and changing. I am truly a blessed woman.
I feel perfect…
Sometimes I wonder if I am more than one person, because I have so many thoughts that go through my head. There can’t be just ONE person in there. I realize, I am a Creative Dreamer. I have so many visions and dreams that go through my head daily, I have a hard time staying grounded. I want to help people learn to exercise in ways they enjoy, find their life purpose, eat healthy, and I want to make safe products for everyone to use.
After graduating with an Associates Degree in exercise, and an NSCA-Certification for personal training, I created MuscleBug. I wanted to create ways for our children to learn to exercise and make it fun. But then I did not want to leave out adults, we need to play too. I will never grow up, and I miss playing Continue reading
I am on a mission to locate products that are safe for me, my family, and my clients. It seems these days it takes a scientist to read what we are eating or using on our skin. You cannot just trust labels in the stores that say organic, or natural. You have to know how to read the ingredients list and know what it means. You almost need a translator to understand what most of it is. I am going to try and list chemicals that you definitely do not want in your home in the next few days. I am also on the search for safe foods, teas, skincare, etc.
If you have a product in mind you would like to share, email me here Blue at Color My Heart
Here is a video I found interesting about cosmetics. I recently became aware of parabens in my hair and skin care and have made every effort to remove it from my home because it has been linked to breast cancer. So, enjoy this video.
SWIHA stands for Southwest Institute of the Healing Arts. I have researched schools based on furthering my nutritional education and I kept coming back to this one. It just seemed to fit me and how I feel about things. After getting my NSCA certification, I thought that would be all I needed. The more I learned, the more I knew I had to learn more about nutrition. I can have people doing deadlifts, squats, and run a mile all day long, but if they do not eat right, it will not get the results Continue reading
Today Tony and I made some homemade almond milk. I do not have a Vitamix blender so we just used the ninja. I found my recipe in VegNews, but I like the one I linked below much better. There is just something about making something fresh without all the added preservatives.
Growing up, all I knew was cows milk. I hate that I missed out on all the nutritious things you can make from scratch. Of course, we were taught in school that you should have your dairy, and how important it was. When I was a baby my mom could not give me cows milk, instead I had to have goats milk…I always joke and tell people I turned out fiiiiiiiiiine (sounding like a goat). My 2nd daughter could not Continue reading
I am absolutely in love with juicing. There is nothing like finding a new fruit or veggie and juicing it. One of my favorites lately is made with beets. I feel like I am drinking from the rainbow of life. The color is out of this world. I like the beets juiced with celery, cucumber, apples, romaine, and ginger. I even juice the stems from the beets. The purple color that runs through the vein of the leaf makes me think of LIFE! After drinking it I immediately feel refreshed and alive like never before.
I started a new MeetUp group through MeetUp called WobniaR Women. Wobniar is not only fun to say, it is Rainbow spelled backwards. I think life should be a lot like a rainbow. It should be colorful, beautiful, and appreciated. The rainbow comes from a balance of rain and sun and we should learn to balance ourselves as a whole.
I once thought if I exercised enough I could eat whatever I chose. I also once thought if I ate less I would not have to exercise. Now I know I need a good balance of both exercise and nutrition for a healthy mind and body. The group I started is to help women find that balance in their lives. Women almost treat themselves as a number. It is sad, really. What is my dress size, how much do I weigh, how old am I, how many wrinkles do I have, etc. I hope my new group inspires women to live, laugh, and love.
Now, go and paint the world healthy.
The more I read about plant-based nutrition, the more I see new names of vegetables and fruits I have never heard of. Lately, I have seen kohlrabi a lot. I was interested in learning more and here is what I found. Kohlrabi is German for “cabbage turnip”, and that is exactly what it looks like. Kohlrabi tastes much like broccoli stems mixed with cabbage, turnips and radish, but slightly sweeter.
What I love about kohlrabi is how healthy it is. High in fiber, low in calories and contains minerals such as selenium, folic acid, vitamin C, potassium, magnesium and copper.
I am definitley adding this to my list of veggies to try. I will find a good recipe and list it with pics and thoughts.
Now, go and paint the world healthy!
I cannot tell you how many lotions or products I have tried on my skin. I have gotten cheap and high dollar items and nothing has ever really impressed me. Plantlife is a good one, but still not like coconut oil. I saw Dr. Jen Ashton suggest it on Dr. Oz. She said it would absorb into the skin quickly and you would not be left feeling greasy.
In the winter my skin gets so dry, yet I hate the way lotion would leave me feeling greasy, so I just kept my dry, itchy skin. My skin is very sensitive and I really need to use something to protect it, so I gave the coconut oil a try and now I wonder where it has been all of my life. I love it!! Now I put it on my whole body after the shower, even my face. It does not smell unpleasant and it really works. I had some coconut oil in the kitchen because I had read about it in Brendan Brazier’s book “Thrive”. It is great for cooking as well as skin care.
Here is the link to Dr. Oz with Dr. Jen Ashton. It tells you how you can add things to the coconut oil if you would like. I like it straight from the bottle. Dr. Jen Ashton’s RX: Foods That Fight Stress and Secrets for Stressed-Out Skin
Now, go Paint the world HEALTHY!